Archives 2025

Dear Eddie, We have a lot going on. Sometimes, I hear fatigue in my voice when I say those words. Our list may look like logistics. And, we have long warned that logistics may steal way too much of our couple conversation. Perhaps though, taking a peek at our recent list can tell us whether we are staying on track with our couple goals or not.

Goal One: We want to stick around with each other for a long time. Once, I could say those words blithely; at 78, not so much. A reality is that everyone we know is “under surveillance” for one condition or another. The upside is that we have a lot of “hot dates”. This doctor/ that test. I am very glad that we accompany one another. And I’m not crazy about the alternatives either. Sticking around also means sharing our hearts, even when it is uncomfortable talking about uncomfortable things.

Goal Two: We both intend to live out a purpose that requires us to be available and open hearted to those we love. That includes our family and our community. Our busy list of celebrations, reunions, and daily activities reflect our values of connectedness, affirmation, and encouragement. When I study our list with our values in mind, I think we do prioritize what matters. If we start to find things on our list that don’t fit the values, we can hit delete.

Goal Three: We have declared that we want to continue to work for better marriages, beginning with our own. Thank you for participating in a retreat weekend just for us. We considered being a legacy marriage. We were urged to find something we could share with another couple. We came away reenergized once again. So, this week’s MEG will once again look at surviving and thriving in an upcoming holiday season. And we will share building a marriage growth plan in the Savannah Better Marriages of Georgia Getaway this winter. I did not think I had any more energy for the work, but you and I, and lots of other marriages are worth a bit more effort.

Are you ready to check out our latest list? I bet we will always have a lot going on. It is just what we do.

Love, Sylvia

What are your Marriage Values?

Does your “To Do” List reflect those values?

Do you need to set some goals for your marriage?

www.bettermarriagesga.org

Darling Sylvia,

This year, in a fit of nostalgia, I bought an Amazon selection that includes 55 heirloom vegetable varieties (28,000 seeds). Add to that 21 varieties of old-fashioned cottage garden flowers.  Heirloom seeds are open pollinated varieties.  If you collect the seeds in the fall, they will breed true in the spring.  Remaining true in the present to characteristics inherited from the past is what I cherish in heirloom seeds.

As with heirloom seeds, remaining true to vital characteristics through our life is important in our relationship.  I love you now, more than in 1965, when we first met in “Bonehead Chem.” I earned an easy B that football season.   Dr. Potter’s grade was OK, but the introduction to my lab partner was God’s gift to this jack pine stump jumper. Late-night coke and dance dates in the Union and endless intense conversations at Lumberjack Park changed friends into lovers.

On June 21, 1969, we wed, traveled to the University of Minnesota (via the Mystery Spot) and stepped out on our amazing journey. We learned that love is more complicated than we dreamed back in college. But, like heirlooms, we remain true to vital characteristics. We grow in love. We never stop playing. We continue talking and listening to understand.

I love you more every day.  I am a very lucky man.

Eddie

What are the vital characteristics in your relationship?

If you have not done so, give them names so you can talk about them.

What can you do to nourish those characteristics?