Dear Eddie,

Been thinking about purpose. Yes, again. My women’s ministry materials always come back to finding purpose. I stopped worrying about finding my purpose a while ago, but I do think about it. I want to live it.  Purpose links values with actions. Living with you has always included conversations about the life we want to live, what we are doing, and what we want to be and do. We started those conversations in the dorm lounges at Alma College and in the old green truck. I remember you standing me on a bench in front of Newberry Hall, spinning me around, and saying, “She loves God, she loves flowers, she loves her family, and she loves me.” It has been and is an interesting journey.

Thank you for the conversations about purpose. Do you remember “What Color is My Parachute?” and “A Nation of Strangers”? What geeks we are! Where did we want to go after Alma? What kind of life did we want to lead? We weren’t faultless or bulletproof. We hit bumps with bosses, jobs, illness. We had worries, grief, direction choices. You and I had some hard conversations. We were the king and queen of If/Then. We matched values, dreams, and possibilities and moved on. We learned along the way to call that intentionality. A gift.

Looking backward, I am thankful for those who taught us to link our values and actions for purpose. Equally, I am grateful for learning to reassess along the way, often from  couples, some older, some younger, who shared their journeys with us. I am totally tickled that post oil company layoff, we chose to seek our Alma College dream of small college teaching. And, we got to do it together. Thirty plus years later, our daughter is teaching the children of our students. What a deal!

Looking forward in this legacy stage of life, I know my purpose is to continue to pass the love along. There is no shortage of opportunity. I am overjoyed to join with you in that purpose with our friends, family, church, marriage enrichment, and farmers’ market communities. We still have the conversations. The values are the same; the living out shifts and adjusts. I am confident that for as long as we live, sweetheart, we will still be blowing on the flame.

I love you,

Sylvia

Couple friends: These questions are to fuel your own conversations.

Individually and as a couple, where are your matches between values and life at present?

Does anything need readjusting?