What about Today’s Electronics and Marriage?
We were asked for our thoughts on how cell phones, computers, and all of the ever-changing technologies have influenced marriage and especially communication for couples (in good and not-so-good ways). We are dinosaurs and think electronics and marriage not always a good mix. We tend to immediately think of technology as distraction from our relationship. We still like to get away from being on immediate call to anybody. We do have to admit that there are at least two sides to every argument. In 1968, there was one telephone upstairs and one downstairs in my home. In lonely college summers, I dragged the cord of the rotary phone from the hall under the bedroom door to be able to talk to Eddie late into the night. It reached inside the room by about two inches. Likewise, I awaited the mail delivery for handwritten missives. We used the technology we had to build our relationship.
Today, couples communicate by cell phones and computers when they are not together. They can choose how to use them to enhance their relationship. They can also be alert for any detrimental effects of the ways they use them.
Good for Couples–
Joint calendars and scheduling
Quick contacts for logistics: “pick up kids, please”
Reminders: “It’s your mother’s birthday.”
Sweet texts: “Love you, Hon!”
Instant support from friends and loved ones
Photos capture moments
Access to resources-Better Marriages App, music, lyrics
Skype closes distance for couples
Both parties can yell at the GPS in traffic and not at each other
Cautions for all users
Technology demands immediate attention and can lead us down “Alice in Wonderland rabbit holes” to magic imaginary places. Machines take less effort than real live humans. Siri can read the dictionary definitions of love, but she does not need love; humans do. Our spouses do. The key is being intentional in our use of technologies. Do they help us to get where we want to go?
What are the good and not-so-good effects of technology on your marriage?
What would you change, if anything?
We adopt new technologies if they bring us closer to each other and to others we cherish. Our daughter’s blog, our son’s e-mail—they are worth admission into our privacy.