Archives November 2019

Dearest Sylvia,  For Love, over the last 54 years, you have helped me to experience many firsts. At 72 years of age, I thought, until this morning, I was running out of new experiences.  Once again, I was wrong.

It was 5:45 in the morning. I had gotten up and prepared breakfast burritos for the grands.  I replayed the last conversation of yesterday in my befuddled before-coffee brain.  I had asked you what was going to happen tomorrow and what my responsibilities were.  I realized you mentioned car-pooling the girls to Ladies Aide at 9:30.

But, I had committed to shopping at Aldi’s Grand Opening at 9:00.  OMG; the consequence of the carpool was I would be in line for the Aldi’s Grand Opening alone.  The little boy from Grayling that hid behind Mom’s corner china cabinet when visitors came went into a full-blown panic attack.

I ran through my entire kit bag of lame excuses.  I realized I was really scared to go alone. It was useless; I had trapped myself into committing to go (they gave away $100 store gift cards to the first 100 customers).   For Love, I pulled on my big boy panties and pretended to be brave.

At 8 (the store opened at 9), I started my truck, scanned my shopping list, and drove to Canton. Of course, the line started to form at 7.  I was shopper 143, the first 100 got $100 store gift cards.  I got a key fob which has a slot for the quarter needed to rent a shopping cart, a reusable shopping bag and $15 worth of store coupons.

I missed on the third dozen eggs but otherwise did find most of the items on the shopping list. For Love, I did bring you half a dozen roses.  To be very candid, they were as much my reward  for once again going outside my comfort zone.  Yes, Virginia, old dogs can learn new tricks. If we have to.

I love you more than Martha Washington Geraniums, Eddie B.

P.S.  I really enjoyed the event; I was an old rooster in a line of friendly hens.  The ladies doted on me.  I, of course, loved the attention.  Next Grand Opening, go with me.  We can count it as a date.

Dear Eddie, I am crazy about our two night minimum getaways; we have adopted a formula that works. In the past, we have prioritized periodic getaways for the two of us, yet, many times, we have found ourselves still exhausted when we returned home. A few years ago, we realized that we were tired out from the stress of getting there, wherever “there” might have been. And, likewise, we were beat by the time we returned home. We needed at least two nights away. We decided that we needed to plan at least one two night minimum getaway every quarter. We write those words down as a goal on our Marriage Growth Plan, and we follow through.

When we plan for a two night minimum getaway, we have a chance to enjoy actually being together in a new or cherished place. We can breathe.  We can arrive, check in, and recover from the stress of traffic or navigation. We can collapse and search out supper or search out supper and collapse. When we plan this kind of getaway, we can wake up when we choose. We can spend at least one whole day doing as we please. We can stay in bed or not. We can be pretty sure that not even our cat will appear at the window, meowing to be let it in. We can enjoy sunrise or not. We can go new places, eat new foods, be lazy or energetic. We can change our minds.

But, so often, the obvious times when we can get away are when we also have responsibilities to others. We might be going to a marriage enrichment conference, for instance. Those events always sound like they will be good couple times and they are, but we usually have some leadership work to do, some stress to bear, other people’s stuff to honor. Thank you for helping me to remember that we need the getaway, too. That means planning so we can stay over and chill after the work is done. That means paying attention to our own marriage growth. That means remembering that our two nights away need to leave time for us to play, talk, and rest.

Emphasizing two night minimum getaways has made the times we can devote to the two of us much more enjoyable. We spent time on the North Carolina Outer Banks before a big conference in Raleigh. We tried out my new knee and explored Waco and Magnolia before the Texas conference.  We played on the beach and ate shrimp at Daytona after spending fine kin-keeping time with family. We explored back roads in the Alabama mountains before a conference site visit.  And, of course, we just run away by ourselves on occasion, like to our college reunion. You are my favorite play mate. I hope we don’t ever forget the magic of the two night minimum. What shall we plan next?

Much love, Sylvia