Archives December 2016

Darling Sylvia,  Thank you for helping me shake the seasonal blues.  I had returned to my dark place.  In that pit, I grieved for the loss of dad thirty-six years ago and this year’s loss of important Better Marriage stalwarts Roberta, Jim and J.P.  You did not belittle my grief but reminded of J.P.’s pledge to keep on keeping on.

I just finished a wonderfully cold, windy, sunshine blessed tour of campus.  I could not help myself; I was glad to be alive.   I passed the Falany Performing Arts Center and realized it would not be there if Judy Mac had not come back from Houston to spend her life investing in her students.  I rounded the building and looked across Lake Mullenix at the Fincher Art Center and thought that it would not be there if Curtis had not decided to stay put.  I walked to the chapel and through the trees spotted the new Dobbs science addition.  It stands because, in 1988, I decided not to go back into  industry at Exxon.  My students needed me more than I needed my anger. What we did with our lives at Reinhardt University was worthy.

We still have work.  I need to work with you in loving our children and grandchildren and our faith and marriage enrichment families. Having you beside me has pulled me out of my self-indulgence.   We need to keep on keeping on and, in the process, leave our loved ones with a little less pain and a little more joy. This new year will add new steps to our dance and new joys to share.

Love You Much – Eddie Bert

Dear Eddie, Let’s talk about living out loud. We are a little frayed by recent heavy stuff—heavy good and heavy sad. We are grateful for the couples who have lived their lives out loud in front of us.

People love weddings. But, after couples get married, they are left on their own to learn how to be married. Forty years ago, we were blessed with a supportive marriage enrichment community. Precious friends near and far have shared their living with us–their happiness, their worries, their challenges, their laughter, their frustrations, their essentials. Their sometimes eloquent and sometimes hard plain statements have become touchstones for us. Their living informed our living. They have lived, and, yes, some of them have died, out loud.

Our friends’ living out loud offered us a range of emotions, wishes, viewpoints and possibilities that we did not have on our own. We have faced little in our marriage that has not been somehow previewed by others going before us. When we face new challenges, we have resources. Because these special couples broke the “keep it to yourself” marital taboo, we feel less alone and, certainly, less crazy.

Thank you for being open to growing together. Thank you for listening with me to all the people who have lived and are living their lives out loud.

Loving you (out loud)

Sylvia